this was an amazing piece! ✨ and lucky me, i really needed to hear this today…
i guess (and i just realized this) that we should simply let ourselves be. embrace who we are, because that’s what makes us special and what makes us happy.
like you mentioned, i always thought that the things i love are things no one else cares about, and i used to get so frustrated by that. but you know what? after reading this, what does it matter if no one likes rewatching the same movies over and over? what does it matter if i love my favorite band and nobody else does? what does it matter if i’d rather stay up all night writing than go to a party?
Nina, this was a very interesting perspective on belonging and protecting yourself. Sometimes we do choose to “unbelong” from a place of security rather than insecurity. However, those decisions do need to be made practically as much as they are made emotionally, in my opinion, because I find they jump sporadically.
I digress. The surface tension metaphor worked beautifully throughout. You showed how being fully known can feel comforting, but also dangerous, because once people have access to your interior, you cannot control what they do with that knowledge. I especially liked the realization that withholding certain parts of yourself doesn’t always mean hiding. I mean sometimes it means refusing to keep persuading people to understand what already makes sense to you.
This was a very reflective and powerful piece about individuality, vulnerability, and learning to belong to yourself first. I think it has earned its spot as an important piece to have in your life. Love your ideas as always :)
I really appreciated this perspective. The idea that some things become more meaningful when we stop trying to persuade others to understand them felt incredibly true. The ending carried a quiet sense of peace that stayed with me.
What stayed with me is the idea that not everything true needs to be constantly shown or defended. Sometimes a part of us grows precisely when it stops seeking confirmation and simply continues to live.
Inside out or outside in. You wrote the whole essay around that hinge and never once let it resolve cleanly, which is probably the most honest thing about it.
I keep returning to the part about betrayal turning into pattern, pattern into shield, shield into sanctuary. That’s not a straight line, it’s a spiral, the same hurt circling closer to wisdom each time it comes back around.
There’s a particular quiet that comes with choosing not to explain yourself anymore. I didn’t expect it to feel like grief first. You mourn the version of you that still thought persuasion was love, that still believed being understood meant being agreed with. It takes a while for that quiet to stop feeling like loss and start feeling like room to breathe.
“Now I step into rooms not to be filled by the noise of others, but to quietly enjoy the richness of the silence I have built inside myself.” That’s the kind of line you earn, not write.
Following you after this one 🙌
Does the sanctuary ever get noisy again, or has it stayed quiet since you built it?
That spiral idea is going to sit with me for a while, the thought that even a sanctuary you build that deliberately is still moving toward some kind of end, just slower than chaos would.
And the outside in, inside out line answers the question better than a straight yes or no would have. It’s less about the sanctuary staying quiet and more about you not needing it to anymore. Knowing what makes you happy as the actual tool for regaining control, rather than just willpower, that’s a genuinely good answer.
Unrelated, but the background on this page is so bright it’s actually hard to read the comments properly. Might just be my screen though 😅
I’m glad it will! That makes me so happy truly. Everything comes to an end. But not all ens are inherently bad. And yes it moves slower but it still moves, I find that beautiful in a way don’t you?
Exactly! Life isn’t perfect, so nothing you do can make it perfect. You just have to know how to deal with what life throws at you.
That’s so funny, I’ve gotten that before. I think I might just change it into something darker 😓
Thank you for your comment I love the way you think I will be checking out your work when I get the time!
this was an amazing piece! ✨ and lucky me, i really needed to hear this today…
i guess (and i just realized this) that we should simply let ourselves be. embrace who we are, because that’s what makes us special and what makes us happy.
like you mentioned, i always thought that the things i love are things no one else cares about, and i used to get so frustrated by that. but you know what? after reading this, what does it matter if no one likes rewatching the same movies over and over? what does it matter if i love my favorite band and nobody else does? what does it matter if i’d rather stay up all night writing than go to a party?
at the end of the day, it’s our life
Nina, this was a very interesting perspective on belonging and protecting yourself. Sometimes we do choose to “unbelong” from a place of security rather than insecurity. However, those decisions do need to be made practically as much as they are made emotionally, in my opinion, because I find they jump sporadically.
I digress. The surface tension metaphor worked beautifully throughout. You showed how being fully known can feel comforting, but also dangerous, because once people have access to your interior, you cannot control what they do with that knowledge. I especially liked the realization that withholding certain parts of yourself doesn’t always mean hiding. I mean sometimes it means refusing to keep persuading people to understand what already makes sense to you.
This was a very reflective and powerful piece about individuality, vulnerability, and learning to belong to yourself first. I think it has earned its spot as an important piece to have in your life. Love your ideas as always :)
- Ajmal
I agree, I think in this piece I was talking from an emotional lens but practicality plays into it for sure!
Exactly I didn’t write this to hide who I am, I wrote this to stop persuading others that I am who I am.
Thank you for this comment,Ajmal.
Almost like you’re tired of asking others to validate you!?
Yes! exactly that.
Wow
thank uu
I really appreciated this perspective. The idea that some things become more meaningful when we stop trying to persuade others to understand them felt incredibly true. The ending carried a quiet sense of peace that stayed with me.
I’m glad. Thank you for your comment.
What stayed with me is the idea that not everything true needs to be constantly shown or defended. Sometimes a part of us grows precisely when it stops seeking confirmation and simply continues to live.
exactly. we grow as we live
Inside out or outside in. You wrote the whole essay around that hinge and never once let it resolve cleanly, which is probably the most honest thing about it.
I keep returning to the part about betrayal turning into pattern, pattern into shield, shield into sanctuary. That’s not a straight line, it’s a spiral, the same hurt circling closer to wisdom each time it comes back around.
There’s a particular quiet that comes with choosing not to explain yourself anymore. I didn’t expect it to feel like grief first. You mourn the version of you that still thought persuasion was love, that still believed being understood meant being agreed with. It takes a while for that quiet to stop feeling like loss and start feeling like room to breathe.
“Now I step into rooms not to be filled by the noise of others, but to quietly enjoy the richness of the silence I have built inside myself.” That’s the kind of line you earn, not write.
Following you after this one 🙌
Does the sanctuary ever get noisy again, or has it stayed quiet since you built it?
It just feels like there’s never an answer to that, if your outside is in it’s in and if your inside is out it’s out.
I think that’s what makes it ever so beautiful, it’s a pattern, but like a spiral it gets small and smaller and every spiral has its end.
Yes, grief is such an accurate way to describe it.
Thank you for your beautiful comment.
The sanctuary definitely gets noisy, only now it’s easier to regain control because I know the things that make me happy.
That spiral idea is going to sit with me for a while, the thought that even a sanctuary you build that deliberately is still moving toward some kind of end, just slower than chaos would.
And the outside in, inside out line answers the question better than a straight yes or no would have. It’s less about the sanctuary staying quiet and more about you not needing it to anymore. Knowing what makes you happy as the actual tool for regaining control, rather than just willpower, that’s a genuinely good answer.
Unrelated, but the background on this page is so bright it’s actually hard to read the comments properly. Might just be my screen though 😅
I’m glad it will! That makes me so happy truly. Everything comes to an end. But not all ens are inherently bad. And yes it moves slower but it still moves, I find that beautiful in a way don’t you?
Exactly! Life isn’t perfect, so nothing you do can make it perfect. You just have to know how to deal with what life throws at you.
That’s so funny, I’ve gotten that before. I think I might just change it into something darker 😓
Thank you for your comment I love the way you think I will be checking out your work when I get the time!
Not all ends are inherently bad” might be the most quietly hopeful sentence I’ve read this week.
And please do make it darker, I’d read that version twice 😅
No rush on checking out my stuff either, find it whenever it finds you 💫
I just made it darker 😅😅
I think this is much better.